A life in science requires resilience. It is an established, well documented, fact. It is the eternal message you tell your students as they venture into the world of publishing, deliver their first talks at conferences, or apply for their first jobs. Dealing with criticism is part and parcel of the job. “Failure” is a regular occurrence, every time a manuscript bounces, a grant is not funded or you did not get that job interview you felt you were perfectly qualified for. But that kind of “failure” is the “failure” that comes with the job and that happens to each and every one of us. Yes, really. Even Nobel Prize winners will have had awkward reviews and rejected grants. So this is not failing, this is just a “training opportunity”, a chance to practice your resilience skills!
It is important therefore to develop the skills to survive reviewer three tearing apart the manuscript they read in a rush two weeks past their review deadline, or to deal with the person in the audience who aggressively asks a long and convoluted question, sometimes just because they deep down feel threatened and this is their way to show the world their importance, or perhaps because they just enjoy the sound of their own voice. It is not all like this. In fact, it is mostly not like this. But it can be like this. So it is important to know: it is not personal, none of it is personal, so don’t take it personally.
It is a hard lesson to learn. Because sometimes it feels SOOO personal! It is made to sound personal, the dig seems unnecessary and beyond the helpful constructive criticism it is meant to be, it seems to carry emotion with it, and it feels targeted at you personally. But it is OK. And this is the key thing to learn. It is OK, it will be OK. Keep cool, keep professional and above all never, ever, ever take it personally. Especially, when it DOES feel personal. So, coconuts and peaches: yes, you’ll need to develop a tough outer skin or hard inner core, this does not mean you will need to be cold, harsh and unkind, it just means you will be resilient!
Still, all this pales to the resilience needed if you choose to tell truth to power…
The ball game then takes on a totally different dimension. If you choose to try and hold those in leadership positions accountable for their actions, there are no good fruit analogies I could think of. Nope, none, zero, nil. DIAMONDS. You will need to surround yourself with diamonds: rare, beautiful and almost indestructible.
If you choose to tell truth to power: 1. Brace yourself. 2. Don’t do it alone. 3. Only engage with those who will stand steadfast, all together in equal strength.
Stress and duress brings out the worse in people. Undoubtedly you, your character, your science or your leadership will be called into question in ways that feel very hurtful and personal. But you must remember still. It is not personal. It is called fear. Fear of the truth coming out. And the more fearful the more effort put into belittling you. You are being attacked because you ARE CREDIBLE. The goal is simple: frighten you into silence. So that power can have the last word.
“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.